Sunday, January 16, 2011

Friday Flash + 52/250 challenge (for Emily)

Rhino Rampage by Tom Allman

All signs and portents had been pointing to this fateful ending.  The unpleasantness could no longer be delayed.  It was time to tell the 3year old we were leaving the zoo.

This dangerous and distasteful task called for tact, diplomacy and logic.  Or, a really great lie. 

Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’d like to see you drag a screaming 3yr old a mile and a half through the zoo. 

So I told her that a rhinoceros had escaped and we were evacuating.

She warned (loudly) everyone we passed that a rhino was running amuck!  Strange and condescending looks were cast.  Did she know the truth?  Maybe, but letting dad make an ass off himself is more fun than a tantrum any day.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Downstream (first 52250flash of 2011)

My body is stuck in an inner tube bobbing slowly down our little river.  My mind is moving somewhat faster. I zip past a paddle wheeler whose cub pilot is marking twain.  Then, after shore leave in the Big Easy, I ship out to the Heart of Darkness to find the White Whale.

My bony old butt scrapes a rock and I have to paddle like an upside-down turtle back into the current.  Under full steam again I scoot by Gilligans’ Island and render honors to Darwins’ Beagle.  Soon though, I arrive at my ultimate destination, my tiny kingdom somewhere in the Pacific.

This is where my dreams always end, in a hammock under the bluest sky you’ve ever seen.  Every morning the children gather flowers to weave into my crown.  In between sunrise and dinner I manage to fend off European invaders and a giant squid. This is the somewhere I’ve never been that is more familiar to me than my own skin.